Newsletter March 23rd – Shawna Pregnancy Comparison
I wish I was that girl who has a baby and leaves the hospital in her normal every day jeans. Or the girl who you see squatting insane weights at 35 weeks pregnant…… But I am not. I dropped exactly the weight of my child when I left the hospital, and I am squatting a whopping 10 pound dumbbells in each hand while pregnant. I am not exactly a superhero when it comes to being pregnant. The funny thing is I always find myself trying to compare myself to other girls who are smaller or who can freaking run miles pregnant, or hell not even look pregnant when they are due in a matter of weeks. But why?
The point of this whole write up is to basically say I am human. I have been checking in with all of you and posting photos and my weight as I have carried this second baby. And yes there has been a long delay between my last post and now. To be honest I felt like I was failing at my point of trying to be a “role model” to other women. But in my weeks of self pitty if you want to call it, I realized this is exactly why all of you women are choosing to follow me. I have nothing to hide, be ashamed of or to lie to any of you about. So, guess you can say I put on my big girl panties and decided to take some pics and actually reflect back on my first pregnancy in comparison to where I am in now.
The last few months have felt like a whirl wind of just random crap that keeps occurring. I haven’t been able to train like I would like to due to the amazing sensation of a bowling ball feeling like it is going to fall out of my crotch. Bad mental image sure but for those of you who have had babies you get my drift. I still chase my daughter around, take her to the park, attempt short walks so I can make it back to a bathroom and I just try to be a fun and active mom for my baby girl. But for some reason that doesn’t always feel like I am doing enough and I am not sure why. Maybe because I own a gym and I am supposed to be the guru of pregnant girls…….. lol well sorry ladies that is not going to happen! But what I have promised you since day one is the raw and honest truth.
This is why today I compared my photos from 2 weeks post baby to me now at 35 weeks pregnant. I wanted to see for myself if I was doing a better job this pregnancy. I really was quite shocked at the results. In my post baby pics I weigh 193 pounds, in my 35 week photo I weigh 178 pounds (this is morning weight of course cause who wants to add the extra you gain by night time….). After all the stress I feel like I was trying to put on myself to work even harder at being a fit prego mom, I forgot to just look at the great things I have accomplished this pregnancy. And now I have to ask myself why is that? I eat what I want 2 times a week, I don’t count calories, I choose clean foods, I eat when I am hungry, I drink a gallon of water a day, and I am active in not just the sense of being in the gym. So maybe after all this I am doing ok?
So ladies why the heck do we second guess ourselves??? I will tell you…. I had a conversation with a girl in my gym and she was in tears because her doctor said she has gained too much too quick, and that she needs to eat better. The girl is in the gym working out, following a meal plan for 90% of her meals and yet her doctor still tells her she isn’t doing it right? Well why not stress a girl out….. Did the doctor care to take in consideration the hormones she has her on? NOPE! There is your big difference between my 2 week post photo and my pregnancy now. I was not on any hormones to get pregnant this second time. When I found out I was pregnant at almost 8 weeks they started me on some and took me off them at 13 weeks. So that right there makes a huge difference on my weight gain difference between my last pregnancy and my first. This client and I are two totally different scenarios pregnant so how can we even be compared to each other? The answer is we can’t!
So let’s get back to the point of why the heck do we compare ourselves to other people? We shouldn’t. If I have learned anything from being pregnant it is to look at my journey as my own and to look at what I do each day and not stress about the big picture. I am going to gain, I might get stretch marks, I already know my boobs will point even more south ;), and I know that all I can focus on is the day I am in and not tomorrow or 5 weeks from now. So my advice to all of you women who are pregnant, or who are trying to get their body back after you had a baby; is to be honest and true to yourself. Know your genetics, know its ok to mess up and get back on track, know that we are all built uniquely different, and know that your story is different from anyone else’s. But most of all I want all of you to know that having a baby doesn’t mean that you will never have the body you want after, or that you won’t have the time to dedicate to yourself. It simply means that yes things get harder and that time management will be crucial and of course you will not be perfect. But know you can do it, even if it takes longer for some of us. For me I am not ashamed to say now that yes I AM TIRED OF BEING PREGNANT AND FAT ! There you go! I want my beautiful blessing to arrive so I can meet her and love on her and I don’t feel selfish for saying this…..but so I can get my body back! Its called being human ladies!
Nobody can understand your pregnancy better than you. I encourage you to listen to your bodies, take care of them and be patient because in the end this is a beautiful (well sometimes lol) chapter of your life that for me will only happen twice. Its ok to not be perfect and its ok to admit that things are hard or that your struggling. But do something to remind you of what you are doing good, don’t make excuses for yourself and just let yourself go completely. Just focus on each day making healthy and active choices that work for you. For me running around chasing my daughter will be enough for me, and if I have extra energy I will get this booty to the gym, but if I don’t I will be content with what I can do. Because like I said earlier I am not superwomen or the ‘guru’ pregnant trainer, I am just me. And after all this I can choose to get my body back and to not settle, you can too. And I encourage all of you to keep following me and I will keep my promise of being honest and track my progress to having my baby and then all the way back to getting my dream body back!